Ms. Independent. Today’s going to be a good day. You talked on the phone with the son of an investment banker, whose daddy is teaching him the tricks of the trade. He drives a S500 Benz, lives in a huge home, has everything in common with you, loves his mama and treated you like a princess. You are already excited and can’t wait to tell your girlfriends that you found Mr. Right. And excited you should be; but how do you know that he is a keeper?

Time to wake up baby girl! I know its Monday morning and you have to get the kids ready for school; pack lunches; and can’t forget about your son; he has practice at 6pm tonight. I see you are still smiling, thinking about your date Saturday? He was a perfect gentleman, took you to the movies; brought the groceries; and even played video games with your son while you made dinner. Let me guess; he is the one huh?

Are woman that use to bullshit that all a man has to do now is give her what she doesn’t usually get (his time; some attention; and a compliment) and he automatically becomes Mr. Right! 10 words that no one can answer, what’s the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right now? There is an old saying that goes; the greatest trick the devil ever played was when he convinced the world he didn’t exist. And in many ways I see that going on now in friendships, relationships, partnerships, even marriages. Do you ever really know a person? Completely? I will never say that love at 1st sight can’t happen, however Cupids arrows are really legit or just some made up bullshit!

I’ve seen a person swear she has found Mr. Right after 4days, and when she was asked how? She said, he is just so different, he is not like everyone else…Ms. Lady; please you don’t even know this man yet. Of course he is different, you just met! let’s use this analogy to make things clear…Ms Independent, remember those Jimmy Choo’s you just had to have?

Well you’re a diva so of course you got them, and when you got them home you even kept them in the box on the top shelf of your closet. But I’ll be damned! You’ve had them for a month now, they got scuffed and now they are at the bottom of the closet mixed in with everything else. They’re still wearable, you put them on every now and again, but there not your 1st choice right?

Uh huh, sounds like Mr. Right or Mr. Right now to me…its human nature to be excited and anxious with the things we just received. You may not realize it but we do it with everything. Music, gossip, clothes, cars, even our weaves. But after a while the real you always kicks in.

Best advise you can ever give and follow is, Be true to yourself, point blank. But how many of us follow that code? Few and far in between. We rather remember the saying, 1st impressions. And we go practice sitting right, smiling in the mirror, our voice, even take it as far as our walk! Yes ladies, we practice the strut in the heels, to make sure that our switch is on point. Because some where we heard the saying, “hate to see you leave, but love to see you walk away”
The hair and nails isn’t the only thing fake here!

Now a few months have passed and you both are saying that the other one has changed. No, no one is changing; you are just being yourself now. It’s hard on the body to keep that front up! He stopped taking you out to eat and on dates, you have heard his voicemail so much now that you forgot what his voice sounds like.
Or how about you, he drove a Benz alright, on your 1st date. And that good job was at a temp agency. Yes his dad was trying to teach him, but now you are starting to think that he didn’t want to be taught! You wanted some attention and you sure got it! This one won’t leave the house! He asking you what’s for dinner and if he can borrow a dub! You’re not about to cry are you? But why? He was Mr. Right! Right?

Sometimes Mr. Right now doesn’t stay in the picture long enough to even get it developed, and sometimes he stays so long that the picture was framed and hung up on the wall. There are times we even marry Mr. Right now. (The reason divorce rate is so high)
So now you ask, how can you tell the difference between the two? Sorry honey, only you can figure that out. SDE can’t drop every jewel, however just remember this gem. Real love isn’t just what Mary was searching for. its why the Isley brothers wanted you in between the sheets, why Marvin called you a Distant Lover, EWF discovered the Reasons, and Lenny Williams poured his heart out singing, Girl you know I - I - I LOVE YOU! Not lil Wayne saying that he wants to fuck all the girls in the world, Drake saying he can make your Bed Rock, and Trey allowing the neighbors to know your name.
Real love is what our grandparents had. It stands the test of time, and makes it to see 50th wedding anniversaries. Real love is when your hearts beat on the same rhythm. When the other one is at his or her worst and you still can’t get them off your mind. You start referring to each other as your half, because you only feel whole when you are with them.
Black, White, college degree or G.E.D every woman deserves to be happy. So until the Big Man, creates the Right man for you, be patient, it takes time. Get a hobby, read a book! (I hear Her Secret by T. Freeman is great!)
Until then stay true to yourself and I promise you. A Change gone come like Mr. Cooke!
When you go to bed tonight take your Visine, and see if you are looking at Mr. Right or Mr. Right now.

SDE loves you because we are you!
Ms Bianca Jones!